xkcd: Perl Problems

xkcd: Perl problems:

Two figures stand facing each other. One is wearing sunglasses.

Figure with sunglasses: If you're havin' Perl problems I feel bad for you, son-

Figure with sunglasses: I got 99 problems,

Figure with sunglasses: so I used regular expressions.

Figure with sunglasses: Now I have 100 problems.

Problem (Ariana Grande song)

wikipedia:Problem (Ariana Grande song)

The Key of Awesome Parody

Ariana Grande - Problem ft. Iggy Azalea PARODY! Key Of Awesome #87

«Well, it's one less paycheck.»

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, I've got 99 verses, but they ain't that good.

Bart Baker Parody

Bart Baker Parody

Summerschool at the NSA

SGlau: So? How’s life?

Andrew: It sucks.

Daniel: Yes, it sucks.

SGlau: Ninety-nine problems, eh?

Daniel: And a bitch ain’t one? yes!

Andrew: Actually, I have a hundred problems.

SGlau: Ah, a significant other?

Andrew: Yes, and me being a soldier here makes her really bitchy.

SGlau: Nice, what is her name?

Andrew: Her name is Felicia, Ma’am.

SGlau: Nice name.

Andrew: Yes, nice name.

SGlau: I suppose serving here at the NSA is also one of your problems?

Daniel: Hey, this place is at least ninety of my problems.

Andrew: I wish it was less than that for me too. I was actually happier in Afghanistan.




SGlau: Yes, you are right. I’m here to kick some serious NSA ass (not in the physical sense, of course), and make sure you two have ten and nine problems respectively.




Daniel: Hey! How about one of us escorting you?

Andrew: Yeah, but who?

Daniel: Andrew, how about you this time?

Andrew: Heh — sure! If only to make my girlfriend jealous.

SGlau: And more bitchy!

Shlomi Fish’s Chuck Norris/etc. facts

#perl-cats "In Soviet Russia" Fortune

“I’ve got 99 problems but kent\n ain’t one.”

From IRC

rindolf: Yes, I’m single - I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one.

rindolf: And yes, I realise that the guy who said that (Jay-Z) now has a 100th problem (a bitch) and a 101st problem (a child).

(See “Jay-Z entry” from the Beyoncé wikipedia.)

(P.S.: and now he reportedly has even more problems: a reported affair with his wife's sister, and a rumored divorce).

(P.P.S.: the couple appears to have remained together. Good for them.)