All sexual behaviour is perfectly acceptable and respectful, including:
- Selling sexual services for money - Prostitution.
- Starring in hardcore pornographic films.
- Being a "slut" or a "bimbo": having casual sex with more than one sex partner.
- Being polyamorous - having more than one stable sexual relationship at the time.
- Having same-sex intercourse - homosexuality.
For either a man or a woman.
Whether someone will do all that or less is ultimately up to him or her, but it shouldn't make you think less of them.
The necessary conditions for that are:
- That they are done in consent.
- That one is 100% honest about their intentions (don't lie or play games or do "Pick up art" or whatever).
«A woman is a lady even if she is or was a porn actress or a prostitute . Treat her with respect, be honest to her - be a gentleman» — https://twitter.com/shlomif/status/478025441983213569
Likewise , with "A woman is a lady" → "A man is a gentleman".
About the August 2014 Celebrity Photo Leak
I know Jennifer probably feels very badly about her privacy being violated now due to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/August_2014_celebrity_photo_leaks . I would feel the same if someone published some of my private E-mails, even if they are not sexualised. Invading one's privacy is always bad.
That put aside, here's some forward looking advice:
1. Sulk a little without feeling bad about feeling bad (see http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Moaning_Lisa ). If you feel OK about feeling bad, you'll already feel better.
2. Realise that any sexualised activity, including starring in a porn film ("XXXX..." to infinity) or selling sexual services for money (= prostitution), is neither wrong nor ever disrespectful . A woman or a man who do some of that are still a lady or a gentleman and should be respected, loved, and trusted (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Shlomif/Saladin_Style#Trust_and_Respect ) and are no less of a role model. If any one did all that (including my close family) I won't think one iota less of them.
3. Tell the media that you think that #2 is right, and enjoy the publicity ( https://duckduckgo.com/?q=all%20publicity%20good%20publicity - All Publicity is Good Publicity ).
4. Be proud, stay cool and smashing and awesome, and realise that there are many people who will love you no matter what.
Finally, I invite Jennifer (or whoever wishes to come) to attend the upcoming https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ICon_festival in Tel Aviv in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukkot and if she wants, she can contact me (I have contact info on my home page) and I'll buy her a drink or a meal. I know a very good pizza place close to the con's location, and I want to see how much pizza she can eat there on my expense. ☺
♥♥♥♥ and XOXO.
Being a slut
<adsc> millerti: i don't think that there is a human tendency towards monogamy <rindolf> pyon: well, words changed in meaning using social activism, <adsc> quite the contrary, actually <OnlyForF1> there is a human tendency towards screwing everything that moves <rindolf> Well, I don't think couples own each other's love life or sex life. <rindolf> They just shaer them.. <pyon> OnlyForF1: I would not call it a "human tendency". <OnlyForF1> animal* <pyon> OnlyForF1: We certainly have animal instincts. But, unlike other animals, we can put ourselves above them. <millerti> <http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14641-monogamy-gene-found-in-people.html#.U7vfsxY_1PY> <OnlyForF1> We can, only because of societal pressure <pyon> millerti: If there is a monogamy gene, it must be very weak in me. <millerti> pyon: Like I say, you can do what you want. It doesn’t really affect me. However, I have an opinion based on reasoning, not some ancient dogma. Monogamy reduces the spread of STDs. <millerti> Another interesting article: <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK97287/> <rindolf> OnlyForF1: I think both men and women appreciate intimacy. <adsc> millerti: well, there are good modern tools to prevent the spreading of STDs without monogamy <rindolf> Because you need to spend some time with your S.O. <millerti> I even more strongly suggest monogamy to gay men, because of the greater ease with which they can share STDs. <pyon> millerti: Far more important than being monogamous is carefully picking who you fuck with. <millerti> But in any case, condoms are a must. <millerti> pyon: Well, you’re right about that. <rindolf> njcomsec: BTW, Miranda Kerr is very hot/cute too and she's married to Orlando Bloom and mothered his child, <adsc> also, you can test for STDs before you "engage" <OnlyForF1> They've separated rindolf <millerti> Think of monogamy as a preventative measure. It affects the statistics in a good way. <rindolf> OnlyForF1: oh, that sucks. <OnlyForF1> She did an interview and she talks about how much sex she has <rindolf> OnlyForF1: hope they can get over it. <pyon> rindolf: Why would anyone besides their family and friends even care? <rindolf> OnlyForF1: many women would kill to be married to Orlando Bloom. <rindolf> pyon: I just know them. <OnlyForF1> Many more men would kill to sleep with Kerr. <Rainb> I wouldn't kill for a celebrity, but hey, that's just me.
Retrospectively I (= rindolf) can say that Kerr's behaviour is a bold attempt to dispel the belief that women who have sex with many men (often referred to as "sluts" or "bimbos") are not being respectful, and I now support her separation after learning that Orland Bloom has been careless and got himself badly injured several times which is indicative of a careless character.
Excerpt from “Buffy: A Few Good Slayers”
Willow: So, do you think I should get a dog?
Buffy: Oh, my friend, Rachel, that software developer chick who moved here, told me that ever since she bought a dog, she made so many friends and lots of guys showed interest in her, and she’s been telling me about her exploits with them endlessly.
Willow: So she has become a slut? So cool!
Faith: Hey! “Slut” is such a 90s term. The new name for that is “polyamorous”!
Buffy: Which just rolls off the tongue.
Facebook Post by Shlomi Fish About Socialising with an ~11 y.o Girl
I went on a trip to England, especially for the Nine Worlds GeekFest con (but continued later on in the Peak District and in Cambridge) and want to share various anecdotes for it. Here's the first one:
On the convention, I saw a young girl (about 10 or 11 y.o) cosplaying as Hermione from the Harry Potter films. Now, she had dirty blonde hair as opposed to Emma Watson's original black brownish hair in the films, but was still quite similar to Hermione. She visited the con along with her parents, and brother, and I decided to give them these things:
1. A blue pallet/blue token for good cosplaying. There was a competition for it later.
2. A ten-sided die: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentagonal_trapezohedron - which I give to many people as a token of appreciation because for various reasons I find the 1d10 to be my amulet of power so-to-speak. (I buy such dice on stock).
3. My new business card ( http://www.shlomifish.org/Files/files/images/business-card-without-frame.png ) with my contact details.
4. I also told them about some of my Harry Potter / Emma Watson fan fiction, such as http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/bits/Emma-Watson-applying-for-a-software-dev-job/ or http://www.shlomifish.org/humour/Muppets-Show-TNI/Harry-Potter.html and they seemed interested to learn.
5. Her family and I befriended each other.
6. I saw that girl again, still wearing the costume, in the last day of the conference and she asked me if I Was going to come next year, and I told her that I hope to go there (and I do).
Now for something a little less pleasant: when I told some people on Freenode IRC about it, someone kept insisting that I was a pervert, just because I'm 1977-born and 37 years old. I didn't touch that girl, and even if I were sexually attracted to her, it's all right to have such minor feelings as long as you don't let them go out of hand. You are allowed to feel anything, including a desire for mayhem and murder - it's just acting based on that emotion that may be questionable.
There is no reason why adults close to 40 (mid-life crisis, yeah baby!!!) and younger children cannot befriend each other, so please don't accuse me of being a pervert, just because I am: 1. Young at heart. 2. Enjoy the company of good, geeky, people of all ages and all other parameters for their shapes and sizes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Fish_Two_Fish_Red_Fish_Blue_Fish .
A happy (un)?birthday to all!
“You feature sexy women and girls in your works. Are you a pervert?”
(From Shlomi Fish’s FAQ.)
Well, I don’t know about you, but I feel that a man who is attracted to women displaying sexiness, strength, competence, etc. - however interpreted - has a healthy libido (or “sex drive”) rather than is a pervert, whose sexual preferences prevent him from functioning.
Furthermore, just because I write about stuff like that, does not mean I do not have enough self-control, or that I have sex with, sexually assault, or sexually harass everything that moves.
It is also obvious from my stories, that I do not wish any harm on the heroes (or often even the villains) of my stories: in general, they do not get killed, or raped, or even become pregnant without intending to. While they have some hardships, they end up performing some amazing achievements of competence, and all that while not having any supernatural powers.
Now regarding their age: yes, I'm aware that some of them are underage, and only in high school. But it may seem farfetched, but I think that underage girls and boys can still be competent, both in their tangible endeavours, but also in their sexual/romantic orientation. Back at the time, Macaulay Culkin, who was the “alpha male” of a large part of the 1990s (despite his youth), raised a few eyebrows, when marrying at the age of 18 shortly after high school graduation. However, I recently heard of a Jewish couple of a guy and a girl who are 15 now, and as scary as it sounds, it didn’t seem too horrid of a thought. Some people learn faster than others.
Just another note about Culkin: some people also criticised him for possessing Marijuana and for its use, but many young and not-so-young people I talked with have had a history of Marijuana use, or even Marijuana addiction, so I do not hold it against him. See my [../../philosophy/politics/drug-legalisation/ “The Case for Drug Legalisation”] for why Marijuana, and all other illegal narcotics, should be made legal globally.